Remember! Don't Retreat.

You will eventually reach a point in your journey where you'll look back, see how far you've come, and refuse to go back.

Looking back should be your motivation to keep pressing forward,  but that won't happen unless and until you change your mind about where you've been and where you're going.  When where you're going becomes more important than who/what isn't with you anymore, you realize that God removed those things/people for a reason. 

When you realize that trusting God is not as hard as we make it, you'll look back at where you were, and instead of feeling unworthy,  or embarrassed and ashamed, you'll understand that He had a plan all along and it was YOU who was in the way of it being fulfilled. 

I read the other day that "if the only time you seek God is when you're in trouble,  your trouble will last always because He desires that we seek Him." Today I realized the very point that my spiritual life began to get stronger than it has ever been. When I stopped praying for God to fix my situation and started asking Him to fix ME.

I spent so much time getting myself into trouble, making decisions based on what other people thought or wanted.  Setting my heart and hopes on temporary things and not eternal things.  And when it came down to the wire and things got out of my control, THEN I wanted to pray  for a way out. "Lord please fix this!" not even "Lord, I'm sorry I'm such a mess." but "Lord please get me out of this mess and I'll never do it again. " until the next time.

I literally set myself up to repeat that same cycle,  because even when I was sitting in church every Sunday,  singing,  and worshipping, all I was really doing was keeping myself covered. I wasn't really doing the work.  I was just in the building so no one could say that I wasn't. "God knows my heart" became my go to excuse for my less than savory behavior.  It was my way out of feeling convicted for the things I was thinking,  saying and doing. 

God is SO much better than that and it wasn't until I sincerely asked Him to fix me, and give me the courage to let Him have control that I realized nothing behind me is worth losing what God is leading me to.

So, I can LOOK BACK and be reminded what God has already done but by His grace and His power I will never GO BACK.

"...You gone hurt yo back..."

I've never been they type of woman who enjoys carrying bags. No matter what they contain,  I don't like to have to carry them on my journey to the next place. Sure, all women love a good hand bag, and I own several,  but on a daily basis,  if I could avoid carrying one, it would forever be my choice.

In the beginning of your journey,  your bag is simply cute, it's stylish,  it goes perfectly with your outfit and it's filled with the things you quite possibly will need through out the day.  The longer and the further you travel,  the more your bag begins to weigh on you. As the road gets more treacherous,  and becomes an uphill battle,  you realize that maybe some of the things you thought you needed to carry with you in that bag are actually not that important after all. Your mind begins to wander to thoughts of how much easier your journey might be if you weren't carrying such a heavy load but you convince yourself that this bag and everything in it is vital to who you are and what you want other people to think of you. 

Some of us, have been walking around with baggage full of things that God is patiently waiting for us to hand over to Him. As heavy as our bags already are,  we keep finding room in them for more "stuff" to carry. This baggage has become the most defining factor in our lives. When we meet new people we hold it out and say "look at this, look at all my mess" and we hope that as they sort through it, they won't conclude that we aren't good enough. Because, if they do, then we'll have to pick that up and carry that with us too.

This is not the way God intended for us to live. He intended to allow us to go through "this" so he can bring us to "that" and we'd be prepared to handle it. Of course there is pain, anger and disappointment  associated with the lessons we learn in life, but God ALWAYS provides healing. We are constantly surviving and overcoming, so, why don't we begin to fill our bags with our victories? Why don't we see that those are the light burdens that the Bible talks about?

Growing up in Church, they used to sing an old hymn on Sunday morning,  "...take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there." The most important line in that song is LEAVE IT THERE. Don't give God your heaviness and expect Him to do anything with it, unless you give it to Him, EXPECTING, TRUSTING, and BELIEVING that He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. Don't go to God with your agenda, expecting him to move on YOUR time. Go to God completely opened to giving up your bags and everything in them, trusting Him to sort through the mess and return them to you full of the message He wants you to carry to your next level. 

My sincere prayer is that we all will become so uncomfortable in the mess we've made of our lives, and that God will give us the courage we need to become comfortable with Him turning our mess into our most powerful message.