S.O.A.P.

S(cripture) "The Believers Prayed For Courage"  Acts 4:23-31
V. 31 - "After this prayer the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached The Word of God with boldness." 

O(bservation) There is a very real fear associated with being a strong witness & disciple for Jesus, that has nothing to do with doubting who He is or what we believe, but rather worrying about the reception we will receive from other people. How we may be rejected or ridiculed plays a huge part especially when we approach our discipleship from a human standpoint. However, even in that fear, we have to continue to pray for the power that the Holy Spirit brings.  God doesn't want us to deny our fear, but He doesn't want us to allow our fear to become our focus. God uses the peculiar things of this world to show how magnificent and powerful and perfect He is. That includes US. We can't even take a breath unless He allows it, yet He allows us to have free will. We get to choose whether we will go right or left, choosing the straight and narrow path that leads to life or the wide and crooked path that will eventually lead to death. Even when we have been called we still have a choice. We have a choice to understand that God does not call the qualified, but He qualifies the called. In just being called alone God has qualified you to do the very thing He has called you to. Each one of the 12 disciples had been called and through their following Jesus all the way to the cross and discovering His empty tomb, they were qualified to carry out the work that God had planned for them. John and Peter were certainly afraid they would also be put to death when they were arrested by the religious leaders for preaching the Gospel "In Jesus name".  God favored them -- because of their faith and obedience they were set free from THAT persecution. Their first reaction was not to say "I can't do this" "this is too much." Because they saw and remembered what Jesus just suffered for us all, they pressed on even though they were afraid.  Instead, like Jesus did in the garden they turned to each other and they all prayed for God to strengthen them to carry out "with boldness" the task that He lay before them and called them to do. God rewarded them with the strength that comes ONLY by His spirit. The Holy Spirit, allowed to do His work in them, caused them to preach the Word of God with boldness! It is not by our own might or wisdom that we can accomplish anything for the Kingdom of God, but by us FULLY surrendering as a vessel for God's Spirit and allowing Him to use us to HIS full and complete Glory. 


A(pplication) For quite some time I have realized the calling on my life. I've accepted that all of the things I've suffered and overcome were specifically for that purpose. I've been fearful when I think about that calling from a carnal perspective. Fearful enough to run in the other direction, to ignore my calling all together, and to even show behavior that dishonors God and my faith in Him. BUT in the times where I've truly surrendered, I've seen and completely understood the Power of God to make me able to do ALL things through Him. I do not believe that that passage of scripture (Phil. 4:13) refers to the menial things we are faced with on a daily basis. While I understand fully that we are to live so that EVERYTHING we do, we do as if we are doing it for the Lord - I know in my heart that that passage is referring to those things that God puts before us, those situations that He allows us to face that seem impossible. The times where we fear we will surely die of this happens or we will never survive if that happens. These are the instances when God wants us to trust Him the most. There is nothing too hard for God. So I am comforted that if He puts a task in front of me (or you)...IF HE PUTS A TASK IN FRONT OF ME (we're not talking about the things WE get ourselves into...) it's in my best interest to move out of the way and let Him do His work in me and through me. I have to set my fear, doubt (in myself), and disbelief aside. Anything that will hinder what God wants to do has to go. I must pray for His continual strength to overcome all of those things because that is where/how the enemy sneaks in. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy by turning my little fears into all I can see! On my own I remain uncovered. By my own might I am afraid, apprehensive and confused. I am ready to stop, run away, and hideout until it's over. By God's might I shall run and not grow weary, I shall walk and not faint. I shall mount up on wings like an eagle and SOAR!

P(rayer) Dear God, My God, you have been so mercifully kind & so generous w/your forgiveness, love and understanding. I asked for answers and you have freely and abundantly provided exactly what I need. Thank you for helping me understand that I cannot depend on my own wisdom, understanding or ability, but that even in my fear and lack of confidence, I have to trust and receive your Spirit and every single thing you set before me will be completed successfully. Help me to stay out of the way so that your will can be done in me, through me and for the sake of others.

Amen.

The Builder Knows Best

There was this old house that was very run down and dilapidated.  The plumbing and heating didn't work. The wiring was a mess. The walls were rotting as well as the floors. And the foundation?  Well, let's just say, it was only by the grace of God that the old ratty house was even still standing.  So the owner decided,  it was time to tear down that abused,  damaged,  deserted and confused old building and start fresh, with a firm foundation.  The owner called on the only contractor she knew was capable of such a job. She was so eager to tear away all of the ugliness that had become the old building, that she didn't fight, or complain. She didn't even offer any suggestions,  just obediently did whatever the builder told her to do. She was so eager for change and renewal, that before she knew it, the old building was completely torn down and she could see the beginning of the foundation. See just that much sent her mind into over drive. She started to think and act as if the entire house was finished and completely furnished. She walked around speaking of her new house like it was the most grand place on earth, but, the builder knew better.  He saw the house for exactly what it was, a firm foundation. There was plenty more work to be done. Every time the owner would speak of her new home,  the builder would offer gentle reminders, "the plumbing isn't laid yet." or, "there are no walls" so the owner would calm down a bit but it wasn't long before she'd be all worked up again,  shouting about her new home and how wonderful it is. But, again, the builder would encourage her to remain humble "there's not even a door or a roof on this place yet."

The builder was patient, a very calming comforting spirit. He never got angry, or frustrated with her,  but he did open her eyes, so that she could understand that. it's ok to have forward vision, but not at the expense of knowing where you are and what you need to do, to get to where you want to be. He reminded her that it's ok to rejoice over getting rid of your old "stuff" and building a firm foundation for the house that will hold all the new stuff. However, it's most important to remain focused, so that the job gets completed.

Building your faith is exactly like tearing down your old house-- a place that's full of pain, anger, hurt, lies, deceit, secrets and turmoil-- and starting fresh with a firm foundation.  It's important to remember that the foundation is only the beginning.  It's exciting to grown in the knowledge of the Lord. Indescribable, the peace you feel when you truly realize that God is in control.  He knows what you need and He's providing for you. It's a powerful feeling. Being the fleshly creatures that we are, that's right where the enemy begins to tempt us. Remember, Satan tried to tempt Jesus in the wilderness. Jesus never faltered.  He was tempted, but he stayed focused on the fact that he is, because God said so. It's the same way with us.

Don't think because you've seen evidence of God working in your life, that makes you better than those who are trying to find their way, or those who don't even realize they're lost. It simply means the foundation has been laid. You still have much work to do. You may have learned some lessons,  passed some tests,  that does not exempt you from being tested or tempted further and you're certainly not exempt from failing at either. Rejoice over the tearing down of that old house.  Praise God that you survived it. Shout because God is faithful and you can see that foundation. You can stand tall on it and know you won't fall through.  Be grateful (though walls still need to be built,  and floors need to be put down, and tests and trials will still come before these things can be completed) God is in control.

We are set apart, but we are not set above. God is the only one who sits high and looks low, and He sees all of us on the same level.  Never allow God's grace to cause you to take pride in things you could never have done on your own. In all your ways, acknowledge him and remember that with the same measure you use, "it" ( no matter what "it" may be, judging, condemnation, gossip, love, peace,  respect,  prayer) it will be measured to you. Make sure you're dishing out way more positive,  than negative because either way it will all come back to you.

Remember! Don't Retreat.

You will eventually reach a point in your journey where you'll look back, see how far you've come, and refuse to go back.

Looking back should be your motivation to keep pressing forward,  but that won't happen unless and until you change your mind about where you've been and where you're going.  When where you're going becomes more important than who/what isn't with you anymore, you realize that God removed those things/people for a reason. 

When you realize that trusting God is not as hard as we make it, you'll look back at where you were, and instead of feeling unworthy,  or embarrassed and ashamed, you'll understand that He had a plan all along and it was YOU who was in the way of it being fulfilled. 

I read the other day that "if the only time you seek God is when you're in trouble,  your trouble will last always because He desires that we seek Him." Today I realized the very point that my spiritual life began to get stronger than it has ever been. When I stopped praying for God to fix my situation and started asking Him to fix ME.

I spent so much time getting myself into trouble, making decisions based on what other people thought or wanted.  Setting my heart and hopes on temporary things and not eternal things.  And when it came down to the wire and things got out of my control, THEN I wanted to pray  for a way out. "Lord please fix this!" not even "Lord, I'm sorry I'm such a mess." but "Lord please get me out of this mess and I'll never do it again. " until the next time.

I literally set myself up to repeat that same cycle,  because even when I was sitting in church every Sunday,  singing,  and worshipping, all I was really doing was keeping myself covered. I wasn't really doing the work.  I was just in the building so no one could say that I wasn't. "God knows my heart" became my go to excuse for my less than savory behavior.  It was my way out of feeling convicted for the things I was thinking,  saying and doing. 

God is SO much better than that and it wasn't until I sincerely asked Him to fix me, and give me the courage to let Him have control that I realized nothing behind me is worth losing what God is leading me to.

So, I can LOOK BACK and be reminded what God has already done but by His grace and His power I will never GO BACK.

"...You gone hurt yo back..."

I've never been they type of woman who enjoys carrying bags. No matter what they contain,  I don't like to have to carry them on my journey to the next place. Sure, all women love a good hand bag, and I own several,  but on a daily basis,  if I could avoid carrying one, it would forever be my choice.

In the beginning of your journey,  your bag is simply cute, it's stylish,  it goes perfectly with your outfit and it's filled with the things you quite possibly will need through out the day.  The longer and the further you travel,  the more your bag begins to weigh on you. As the road gets more treacherous,  and becomes an uphill battle,  you realize that maybe some of the things you thought you needed to carry with you in that bag are actually not that important after all. Your mind begins to wander to thoughts of how much easier your journey might be if you weren't carrying such a heavy load but you convince yourself that this bag and everything in it is vital to who you are and what you want other people to think of you. 

Some of us, have been walking around with baggage full of things that God is patiently waiting for us to hand over to Him. As heavy as our bags already are,  we keep finding room in them for more "stuff" to carry. This baggage has become the most defining factor in our lives. When we meet new people we hold it out and say "look at this, look at all my mess" and we hope that as they sort through it, they won't conclude that we aren't good enough. Because, if they do, then we'll have to pick that up and carry that with us too.

This is not the way God intended for us to live. He intended to allow us to go through "this" so he can bring us to "that" and we'd be prepared to handle it. Of course there is pain, anger and disappointment  associated with the lessons we learn in life, but God ALWAYS provides healing. We are constantly surviving and overcoming, so, why don't we begin to fill our bags with our victories? Why don't we see that those are the light burdens that the Bible talks about?

Growing up in Church, they used to sing an old hymn on Sunday morning,  "...take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there." The most important line in that song is LEAVE IT THERE. Don't give God your heaviness and expect Him to do anything with it, unless you give it to Him, EXPECTING, TRUSTING, and BELIEVING that He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do. Don't go to God with your agenda, expecting him to move on YOUR time. Go to God completely opened to giving up your bags and everything in them, trusting Him to sort through the mess and return them to you full of the message He wants you to carry to your next level. 

My sincere prayer is that we all will become so uncomfortable in the mess we've made of our lives, and that God will give us the courage we need to become comfortable with Him turning our mess into our most powerful message. 

Forgiveness & Trust

This is a major struggle for me. I definitely need to surrender to God in this area of my life because I have the hardest time with both.

I get so caught up in my hurt feelings and wanting to feel "vindicated" that once someone crosses that line, there is no return. Even if I'm cordial again I'm very guarded and cold. Being that way makes me very uncomfortable because it's the complete opposite of who I am.

No matter if it's friends or family,  once my trust has been violated or broken I turn to stone. I'll speak,  I'll even pray for them but I'm never really free or comfortable in that relationship again. 

I would never want God to deal with me that way. I fail him, break his trust and dishonor his friendship on a daily basis.  I need to trust Him to help me, not only understand true trust and forgiveness, but to always show it to the people he brings into my life.

Are We There Yet?...

It's blowing my mind that the same things I want/expect from friends and someone I can call my mate, are the same things that God wants from me. He expects me to be genuine in my dealings with Him, to do everything out of love for Him not obligation, to be honest even when my feelings or opinions aren't favorable towards Him, to have faith in the relationship that we've built and to protect and respect that relationship no matter what. 

In order for me to receive that kind of love from others, God wants to know that I'm able to reciprocate it and that I'm even able to recognize it. He wants to know that if I'm blessed with it I won't destroy it. He's teaching me how to know what true love and friendship really is. He's chipping away at this wall that life and pain and fear has helped me build and hide behind.  He's teaching me about forgiveness and loyalty and most importantly pure 100% unconditional love.  I want it but can I give it? I want it but am I able to accept it? I want it but will I recognize it? I want it and God wants me to have it, but much like a parent won't give an immature/irresponsible 16 yr old the keys to the car, he's not going to let me have it until I'm ready.

Dear Little Me...

i know i can't take away the pain in your heart.
i can't erase the things you now know or the things that shouldn't have happened.
i can only be here even in silence to comfort you and let you grieve

i can honestly say i know how you feel what you're dealing with is unimaginable
there aren't words to make it better but i'll always find love in my heart for you
i feel every ounce of the pain you do, and not because i choose to, but because i have to

you're a part of me.
you hurt i hurt.
what cuts you makes me bleed too
but i'm here
you're not alone

we share a bond in a lot of things but most importantly God.
we recognized Him in each other before anything else.
He'll give us both what we need always, for me to help you thru your painful times and you to hold me through mine.

i'm not afraid to face what ever may come because i know you believe in me.

its gonna be ok.
you'll heal.
i'll help you.
i'm here.
i love you.

love me.